Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
