please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
