please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
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