I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
