we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
