The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
