i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
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