he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
