id be glad to
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
