i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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