my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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