How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
