What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
