i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
