I think I just saw someone hide a body.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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