I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
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