Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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