maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
