I didn't shave. On purpose
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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