so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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