Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
