I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
