I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
