I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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