so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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