we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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