Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
