This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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