I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
she peed on how many people?
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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