sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Randomize
