A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
