I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Randomize
