I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize