I feel like abortions should bother me more
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize