Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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