Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize