i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
