the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Panties = found
Randomize
