In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
