I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
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