sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
