We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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