I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Less talking, more tequila
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize