ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
