how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize