Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
My Sexting was not on an AP level
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
