Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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