i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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