Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Randomize
