We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize