problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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