Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
