I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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