I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
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