and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
