Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize