i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
i think i just lost a toe
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Randomize
