how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
