She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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