The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
