then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
sex in a hospital.. check
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
