How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I think a kid would responsible me up
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize