____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
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